Except for Sex, It’s About Power…

Though it shouldn’t be. It could be about so many other things. In a relationship, it could, and perhaps should, be about connection.

It’s about that moment when you can get as close to the other person as possible, when for a brief, infinite moment, all boundaries dissolve—not just your thoughts, feelings, and desires, but your bodies, too, come together. But perhaps you no longer want that connection. Maybe it’s too much.

Maybe the woman beside you is too strong, dominating, constantly correcting you, always telling you how you should do things. She feels like your mother. And you definitely don’t want to sleep with your mother. Or maybe you feel like you’re living with someone helpless, a victim who needs everything explained and done for them—like a child. And, well… no.

You’re searching for the woman who is your partner. Not above you, not beneath you, but beside you. A woman who is, of course, a little bit like your mother when needed and a little bit like a fragile victim when it’s time for you to play the hero. All of this just so you can feel like a man.

But when sex is withheld as punishment at home, what is that really about?

So, if a man feels absent from the relationship, he has to find himself somewhere else. That feeling is essential, even if just for a while. And both sides do this in one way or another. Video games don’t make you go far to get it. They’re better than porn—you can enjoy them longer. But one thing they lack is the other person, the connection with them. And there’s nothing more devastating than feeling alone in a relationship.

The world of video games has become more than just a form of entertainment; for many men, it has become a lifestyle. But this new way of life doesn’t just affect testosterone levels and physical health—it also impacts relationship intimacy, sexual desire, and social connections. More and more women are complaining that their partners spend their evenings glued to the couch, with a joystick as their primary “companion.”

But why does gaming edge out sex, and what are the consequences for relationships?

Why Is Sex Less Exciting Than Gaming?

Video games provide instant and guaranteed pleasure, whereas sex and relationship intimacy are far more complex. In gaming, success is measurable: reaching a new level, defeating an opponent, or earning a trophy—all of which deliver quick dopamine hits. In contrast, sex and relationships require time, energy, and emotional investment, which don’t always guarantee immediate satisfaction or success.

For single men, gaming can be particularly appealing. Compared to the often exhausting and frustrating process of dating, games offer immediate mental stimulation and gratification. A new mission or victory is much simpler and more predictable than a date or resolving a relationship conflict. Over time, this emotional and mental satisfaction reduces sexual desire, as the brain begins to seek rewards elsewhere.

When She No Longer Exists

Excessive gaming doesn’t just affect the sex lives of single men—it impacts intimacy in relationships too. Many women report feeling “invisible” to their partners. The man spends hours in front of the screen, focused solely on reaching the next level or winning a match. Conversations fade, shared activities disappear, and distance replaces intimacy.

For women, this often leads to feelings of inadequacy—not being attractive or desirable enough. Emotional neglect can leave deep scars, and over time, the relationship can degrade into a mere roommate dynamic, where the couple shares a roof but little else.

Meanwhile, the man often perceives complaints about his gaming as an attack or a threat to his only source of joy and success. This deepens the divide in the relationship even further.

Hormonal Changes and the Disappearance of Desire

A sedentary lifestyle and excessive gaming trigger hormonal changes that can also diminish sexual desire. Reduced testosterone levels—caused by inactivity, obesity, and stress—directly impact libido. The accumulation of abdominal fat and the resulting increase in estrogen (a female sex hormone) worsen the situation further, leading to physical changes and a loss of confidence.

Low testosterone levels, combined with stress and weight gain, have a destructive impact not only physically but emotionally as well. The man feels less motivated for intimacy, and sexual desire gradually disappears. Meanwhile, the woman feels rejected, which erodes the emotional foundation of the relationship even further.

The world of gaming becomes a substitute for emotional connections. Men find in virtual successes the validation they lack in real-life relationships. But this ultimately leads to emotional emptiness and loneliness.

The Mechanism of Addiction: When Games Take Over Life

Video games can be just as addictive as substances like alcohol or drugs. The brain becomes accustomed to constant dopamine hits and demands more gaming time to achieve the same level of pleasure. This compulsive behavior can lead to withdrawal symptoms—boredom, frustration, or anxiety—which make it even harder to cut down on gaming time.

Over time, gaming evolves from entertainment into a compulsive escape from reality, permeating every aspect of life.