Recently, one question has been growing louder in my mind: How can I work with others effectively—or more precisely, how should I collaborate to ensure the process is productive? Where do I draw the line between being actively involved and stepping back to let others take the lead and make decisions? And I’m not talking about the traditional boss-employee hierarchical dynamic here.

For nearly 25 years, I’ve led companies as an owner. The business was always mine (entirely or mostly), I funded it, and I made all the critical decisions. Even when I transitioned from an autocratic system to a more collaborative (but not democratic) company structure, the control ultimately remained in my hands. However, since 2022, I’ve been operating in entirely different systems. In some cases, I’m an investor; in others, I’m a silent partner; and sometimes, I simply fund a project without fully understanding the details, as it’s not my idea. Across these different models, one commonality remains: my partner is the expert in the technical aspects and executes the project.

In these collaborations, there have been several instances where I saw business issues differently, would have built the strategy another way, or even disagreed on professional matters. Beyond the technical and business points, there’s also the question of handling things well on a human level. When should I push my opinion, stand firm, and not back down in a debate? And when should I let go, allow my partner to make the decision, or even let them struggle with the challenges on their own?

Sometimes, this whole process reminds me of parenting, where I have similar questions. Perhaps, as with my kids, I should trust my instincts more, overthink less, and move forward by taking on the risks. Life will show me if I’m doing it right.

And while I do let go, Excel is still Excel. It’s good to have principles to guide my decisions. From the intense experiences of the past two years, I’ve drawn the following conclusions:

Decision Dynamics

The shift from a primary decision-making role to a supportive one was a significant change. It’s a journey that requires learning to trust the expertise and vision of others. Despite my two and a half decades of experience, a few visible successes, and perhaps deep business knowledge, my partners bring fresh perspectives and specialized skills that are invaluable to the projects. Striking the right balance between offering useful advice and ensuring autonomy is crucial. This is how I try to approach situations:

When I step into decisions (even though I didn’t always do so before):

• Critical decisions: If a decision significantly impacts the company’s operations or the financial health of the project, it’s important for me to strongly present my perspective.
• Experience-based insights: Drawing on my experience as a business owner and leader to highlight potential pitfalls or opportunities that others might not see. At the very least, ensuring that my points are clearly understood by the other party.
• Alignment with core values: Ensuring that decisions are in harmony with the project’s core values and long-term vision. There are many choices that may be advantageous in the short term but take us further away from our original goals.

When I let go and allow others to decide and act:

• Professional matters: Trusting experts to make the best decisions in their fields. I’ve never questioned my dentist on whether they’re drilling my tooth correctly. If I didn’t trust them, I’d switch immediately.
• Creative freedom: When I built my own company, I had plenty of ideas that others thought were odd. But they worked. I enjoy things that deviate from traditional models, so I let my partners explore their creative ideas freely.
• Learning through experience: There are situations where you have to let the other person face the consequences of their decisions. Some lessons need to be learned early, where the stakes are smaller—because if they happen on a larger scale, recovery might not be possible.

Parallels with Parenting

Interestingly, this balancing act often reminds me of parenting. Just as with my kids, there are moments in business partnerships when I need to decide whether to step in or let the other person confront their challenges independently. What do I need for both?

• Trust and patience: Believing in my partners’ abilities and being patient as they overcome obstacles on their own.
• Supportive presence: Being available to provide help without stifling their efforts or ideas.
• Encouraging independence: Fostering a sense of responsibility and ownership in my partners, similar to how I encourage my children to make their own decisions.

In Summary

It can be incredibly difficult at times… Sometimes, I think I should just drop the whole thing and start something on my own again. But I enjoy this—I enjoy experiencing this new dynamic. I love seeing people walk their own paths in their own ways and at their own pace. Just as I love my kids, even if they sometimes drive me crazy.

The article was originally published on the vendler.hu blog.